My All
by Jakethepuppy
Summary: Closing my eyes seemed like the only thing I could do when he wanted my help. I love him, God, I love him. It just hurts, it hurts too much. Slash


**Title**: My All

**Pairing/Characters**: Kendall/Logan, bit of Kendall/Jo

**Rating**: M for guy on guy, swearing

**Songs**: My All by Mariah Carey

**Author**: JakeThePuppy

**Disclaimer**: Don't own anything!

Closing my eyes seem to be the only thing I can do when he needs me. Being pushed up against the wall of our bedroom door was one of those times. You see it's not a bad thing, really, it's just that I can play make believe in my sick little mind.

Like when his lips roughly push mine, how he tends to bit harder to make me bleed. I can pretend it's because he missed me and can't wait until we make love.

Or how he would reach for my chest, that he's not looking for breasts' but more like he's making sure I'm here with him. That he wants me more and more.

"_Oh God! _Jo, Fuck! So good." I can pretend that it's my name that passes threw those sweet lips. Not her name, my name, his _best _friend. I can pretend that my heart doesn't brake and burning of my chest is the lack of air.

"Ken-" Hard lips push themselves on my bruised and plumed ones. I can pretend that it's not because he doesn't want to hear me, he loves me.

I can do all of this with my eyes closed. Rough hands undo my jeans, I could feel his hot breath coming out of his mouth fast and hard on my neck. I wrap my hands tightly around his neck as he lifts my legs up his waist. Heat pooled my hard member as he slammed me up the wall again, a groan passed my lips as he grinned against me over and over.

"Jo." It was a soft whisper near my ear and I couldn't help but shut my eyes tighter silently begging for him to stop her name coming out. Begging for my eyes to stop crying, begging for my heart to stop hurting.

Each thrust he made I felt myself coming close to cumming, his breath on my neck, his eyelashes fluttered against my cheek. It was all to much, it was raw, it hurt. Yet I couldn't ask myself why I was here, why I helped him, why. Why did I love him.

"So close Baby. God so fucking close." I gripped his back, making sure I left little markings on his back for Jo to see when she comes back. I moaned deep in the back of my throat as I let myself cum. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, my legs gave out, my head made a small _thump _sound as it hit the door. With that he bit my neck harshly and then he to, let out his load.

With a sigh he let go of my legs, I slid down the door, tired and my body aching. I let my eyes relax, still closed. I wanted to be over, I wanted out, and I knew I couldn't, I just fucking love him to much. A soft brush of the hand made me jump.

"Logan. Open your eyes Logan." His thumb crested my cheek, my eyes fluttered open and I was met with sad gray eyes. Why. Why is he looking at me like that, why now.

"Your crying." My eyes widen slightly as I slowly reached up and found my cheeks wet, his thumb lightly swiped them again. I shook my head, with shaking legs I stood and tried to ignore the feeling of love and lust again. I just wanted to sit, and I did just that, I sat on my bed and looked at our bedroom floor. How many times have we done it on the floor. Too many times to count.

"Logan-"

"I'm fine." I didn't want to talk, why would he want to now. The messed up fantasy in my head is slowly dyeing away thanks to him.

"We should stop this. Really stop this." His voice gave away how tired he was. His words almost made my eyes sting again. I forced it to stop, I don't want to cry again, it hurts.

"You said that before." I started. My hands grasped my bed sheets tightly. I wanted to run, I wanted him to walk away and forget what he just said.

"This time, this time I mean it. She's going to keep working and so am I. I don't want her to feel like she can't trust me. I love her Logan. I really do." I didn't say anything and for the longest time neither did he. Then with a sigh and a small soft _good-bye _he left the room.

I knew then that he really did mean it. He left me, left us. I couldn't breath, I couldn't run to him. I wanted to. God did I want to but I sat there alone in the dark, with my eyes closed one last time.

**Yep. Well let me know what you think.**

**Sorry if there were any grammar and/or spelling mistakes. **

**Please R&R.**


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